


warm embraces and soft lips

by mattsunsthighs



Series: Unconditional [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Confessions, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Pre-Relationship, mattsun is such an amazing guy okay, this giant catastrophe was supposed to be like 800 words what the hell happened, this marks their first official kiss in the unconditional timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 13:56:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7107961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mattsunsthighs/pseuds/mattsunsthighs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Keeping his gentle gaze on Hanamaki, Matsukawa reached up and began running his fingers through the pale hair, feeling Hanamaki relax against him as he did so. They stayed that way in silence, Matsukawa waiting for Hanamaki to speak first. When he did finally speak, it was hushed, and cracked in a way that made Matsukawa’s heart clench in pain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	warm embraces and soft lips

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jetpackcoolguy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jetpackcoolguy/gifts).



> this giant gay disaster is for uma, this is all your fault.
> 
> based on our headcanon that makki slides his hands into mattsuns pants whenever he needs cuddles and words of reassurance.

It started off like any other normal day. Hanamaki had woken up, got dressed, and walked to school, meeting Matsukawa halfway. Morning practice went well, as did the morning block of classes. But shortly before lunch, Hanamaki felt something change, and the negative thoughts came tumbling over him, ensnaring him in their grasp like dark ribbons full of vile words, holding fast to his mind.  
  
Slowly, so as not to seem too panicked, Hanamaki left his desk and went out into the hall to find Matsukawa. It didn't take too long to do so, he was standing just a short ways away, chatting away with Oikawa. Trying not to seem too hurried in his movements, Hanamaki sidled up behind him, and slid his thumbs into the waistband of Matsukawa’s uniform pants, his chin coming up to rest on his shoulder. Making sure his usual relaxed grin was in place, Hanamaki opened his mouth to greet them.  
  
"Makki!" Oikawa's bubbly voice cut off whatever greeting he had been about to say, "we are in public, keep yourself in check!"  
  
Keeping his grin fixed on his face, Hanamaki spoke, making sure his voice didn't waver and reveal his inner turmoil, "Ohh, you're one to talk, Oikawa, since you're practically throwing yourself at Iwaizumi every time you see him."  
  
Oikawa looked affronted, his lower lip jutting out in a pout, and his eyes flickered over to briefly meet Matsukawa’s, before settling back onto Hanamaki.  
  
"Jealousy is so unbecoming of you, Makki. Now I'd love to stay and chat, but I need to go help Iwa-chan cram for our English test!" He sidestepped them as he began walking down the hall towards his and Iwaizumi's classrooms, "you two have a fun lunch and don't do anything I wouldn't do!" he called behind them in lieu of a goodbye, as he sauntered away from them.  
  
A few beats of silence passed between them, during which Matsukawa gently pulled Hanamaki’s thumbs from his waistband, and turned around to face him, gently rubbing the backs of Hanamaki’s hands.  
  
"C'mon," he said low and gentle, "let's go eat outside."  
  
Hanamaki hummed his assent, and followed Matsukawa out onto the campus grounds, his fingers clutching at the cuff of Matsukawa’s uniform sleeve.  
  
They walked across the yard toward a tall tree that was semi-secluded from the bustle of the lunch hour. Matsukawa sat down first, pulling Hanamaki down to sit right next to him, with hardly any space between them. They sat together for a short while, as Matsukawa unpacked his lunch one handed, the other still holding Hanamaki’s hand, rubbing small circles into the soft skin.  
  
Matsukawa thought a brief thanks to his mom for the presence of the two pastries in his bag, and he held one up for Hanamaki to take. Hanamaki’s eyes lit up by the tiniest amount at the sight of his favorite flavored creampuff from the expensive bakery nearby. He mumbled a quiet 'thanks' before tearing the package open with his teeth, refusing to let go of Matsukawa’s hand.  
  
Matsukawa watched him nibble at the pastry for a few moments, admiring the way Hanamaki's cheeks puffed out the slightest bit when he took a bite, before tucking into his lunch.  
  
They ate in mostly silence, saying a few words here and there as they ate, Hanamaki nabbing a few pieces from Matsukawa’s lunch, but Matsukawa didn't mind in the slightest. When they finished off all the food, Matsukawa moved the trash from his lap, allowing Hanamaki to turn and rest his head on his thighs, facing him.  
  
Keeping his gentle gaze on Hanamaki, Matsukawa reached up and began running his fingers through the pale hair, feeling Hanamaki relax against him as he did so. They stayed that way in silence, Matsukawa waiting for Hanamaki to speak first. When he did finally speak, it was hushed, and cracked in a way that made Matsukawa’s heart clench in pain.  
  
"I hate it," Hanamaki’s voice rasped, "I hate that she makes me feel this way."  
  
His voice was wavering, and Matsukawa hated that Hanamaki could sound like that at all.  
  
"You can't help how you are, no one can," he whispers, watching Hanamaki’s breath raggedly shake his chest, "and you should never be ashamed of it, Takahiro. There is no shame in who you love."  
  
A shuddering breath left Hanamaki and he turned his head to bury his face against Matsukawa’s thigh. In this moment, Matsukawa was thankful that they had chosen to sit on the side of the tree hidden from the eyes of their classmates, because he was sure Hanamaki wouldn't appreciate any prying eyes when he was this vulnerable.  
  
"W-Why can't she just accept who I am?"  
  
Ice flooded Matsukawa at those words. Hanamaki’s voice wavered, and tears had begun to stream down his face. Removing his fingers from Hanamaki’s hair, Matsukawa helped him sit up, and pulled him into his lap. Hanamaki flung his arms around his shoulders, and buried his face in Matsukawa’s neck.  
  
"What does she have against being gay??" Hanamaki’s broken voice was muffled against Matsukawa’s skin, "Why does she hate it?? What's wrong with me, Issei?"  
  
The last question had barely been a whimper, and Matsukawa felt his eyes prick as tears formed. Blinking them back, he replaced his hand in Hanamaki’s hair, and ran the other one up and down his back in  a strong, soothing rhythm.  
  
"Takahiro, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you," Matsukawa heard Hanamaki let out a snort, "I mean it. You're a really caring guy, you're smart, you're fucking hilarious, and you're one of the most versatile players on our team."  
  
Matsukawa ducked his head to nudge the side of Hanamaki’s head with his nose, and let the faint smell of peach fill his nostrils.  
  
"Your mother has no idea about how amazing of a person you are. You're valuable to the team, not just as a player, but as a person too. You made Kunimi laugh at that dumb joke you made yesterday at practice. Your advice to Yahaba last week is helping him reconcile whatever beef he has with Kyoutani. You're always there to lighten the mood, and you always put in the effort to make those around you smile when they're feeling down. You matter _so much."_  
  
Matsukawa felt the way Hanamaki’s breathing evened out, the stuttered hiccuping of air coming less frequently. He so badly wants to cover Hanamaki with soft, reassuring kisses but he knows Hanamaki wouldn't appreciate that, not with his current state of mind. So he settles for simply hugging him tight. One day, Matsukawa hopes, he’ll be able to do more than just hug Hanamaki.

“So don't let your mother’s opinion drag you down, don't let it lodge itself further into your mind. What she thinks doesn’t matter, it doesn't mean a damn thing. The only thing that matters is how you feel, and the people who make you feel happy and safe and loved. I promise you the team wouldn't look at you any differently, regardless of who you're attracted to, alright?”

Matsukawa felt Hanamaki nod against his neck and he smiled. He was glad that he was able to help Hanamaki feel slightly better. He knew that the issue wasn't completely fixed, and that it probably wouldn't be for a long time. But Matsukawa hoped, deep within, that Hanamaki would let him stay with him long enough to see the doors close on all the emotional pain his mother inflicted upon him.

Hanamaki shifted in his lap, and Matsukawa looked down at his face. He appeared to look more collected than he was just moments ago, and that alone put a soft smile on his face. When Hanamaki looked up at him a few moments later, he was still smiling that soft smile, causing Hanamaki to snort quietly.

“God, Mattsun, you look like such a giant sap with that dopey grin on your face,” he huffed, and Matsukawa didn't miss the way Hanamaki’s ears turned slightly pink under his gaze. In response, Matsukawa just laughed heartily and he leaned forward to drape himself over Hanamaki as much as he could in their current position.

As Matsukawa increased the weight he was resting upon him, Hanamaki squawked loudly.

“Mattsun, get off! You'll crush me with your giant torso, and I know you're not flexible enough to lean this far forward!”

Matsukawa laughed again. Hanamaki’s spirits seemed to have lifted with that one action of his, and it made his heart soar. He hated seeing Hanamaki so vulnerable and quiet, and he hoped that one day he'll never have to feel that way again.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said with a smile, letting go of his hold around Hanamaki so that he could stand up. When they had both gotten to their feet and brushed the bits of grass from their uniforms, Matsukawa looked at Hanamaki. There was still some dimness in his eyes, but he looked leagues happier than he had at the start of the lunch hour.

“C’mon, let’s go bother Oikawa and Iwaizumi.”

“Heh, alright.”

 

* * *

 

The rest of the day passed slightly easier. Hanamaki managed to look his usual bored self, and didn't attract any unwanted attention. Matsukawa texted him a few times during the afternoon block with short little jokes and the occasional meme to keep his spirits up, and Hanamaki was forever grateful to have such an amazing person like Matsukawa in his life.

Practice went alright. A few concerned looks were shot his way at first in response to his subdued behavior, but since the captain didn't appear to be bothered by his quietness, no one approached him about it. A few flubs were made during drills, but a strong hand clapped on his shoulder and a few reassuring words from either Oikawa or Iwaizumi kept his head just above the dark churning waters of his thoughts. Matsukawa was quiet as well, most likely to mirror Hanamaki and not bring further attention to the fact that his mind was a dark swirling mess.

When practice was over, and most of the team had already headed home, Hanamaki found himself walking toward the front gate with the rest of the third years. When they reached the point where they would part ways, Oikawa, instead of his usual loud farewell, draped an arm over Hanamaki’s shoulder and leaned heavily against him, despite the fact that they were within a centimeter of each other's heights.

“Well, I fear this is where we must part ways, don't miss us too much you two!” he said to both Hanamaki and Matsukawa.

“Hey, Mattsun,” Hanamaki said, turning to Matsukawa with a wide grin, “do you remember that guy who was the captain of our volleyball team in high school? What was his name again?”

A wicked grin cracked over Matsukawa’s face, “Hang- Hanger… something I think it was, Makki? Gosh I wonder how he's doing these days.”

Iwaizumi snickered behind them and Oikawa wailed.

“You two are so cruel!” he cried, to which the others laughed loudly. When Hanamaki reached around to pinch at Oikawa’s side, he yelped louder.

“Anyways,” Iwaizumi chuckled as Oikawa continued to whine, “we gotta get going. See you later.”

“Yeah, see you.”

As the four parted ways, Oikawa and Iwaizumi one way, and Hanamaki and Matsukawa the other way, Hanamaki felt the light sensation in his chest slip away, leaving behind just an empty dread at the prospect of going home. His hand reached toward Matsukawa, fingers holding onto the edge of his blazer. At the tug of fabric, Matsukawa looked down at Hanamaki to see his eyes had darkened again. Matsukawa’s features softened and he looked forward again.

“Hey, come over to my place?”

Hanamaki’s face jerked up, out of his reverie, to look at Matsukawa.

“Huh? Are you sure?”

Matsukawa smiled softly at him, “yeah, I'm sure. Stay the night. It's Saturday so we don't have to worry about getting up early for school tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Hanamaki assented, “let's go.”

They kept walking, staying together where they would usually part ways, and walked in the direction of Matsukawa’s home. Matsukawa had reached his arm toward Hanamaki and rested it lightly around his waist, and Hanamaki felt his heart stutter a little at the light contact.

When they entered Matsukawa’s home, they were greeted with silence, indicating that his mother and sister were both out.

They both took off their shoes and walked quietly down the hall to Matsukawa’s room. Hanamaki let his backpack fall to the floor with a dull thud when he entered, and made a beeline for Matsukawa’s dresser, where he proceeded to root through it in search of a comfy shirt to swipe. Matsukawa watched him fondly as he dug around his shirt drawer.

Moments later, Hanamaki let out a triumphant sound as he pulled out an old black shirt with a stretched out v-neck collar. Stripping off his school uniform and throwing the pieces onto the floor, Hanamaki pulled the soft cotton over his head. He always did feel more comfortable when he was wearing Matsukawa’s shirts.

“You look really cozy,” came Matsukawa’s soft voice from the other side of the room.

“I feel really cozy. And safe too,” Hanamaki said, looking up at Matsukawa. His arms were wrapped around himself, but not in a way that conveyed discomfort or hurt. Instead he looked content, more content than he had seemed all day, and that made Matsukawa’s heart soar. The idea that Hanamaki felt the safest and most comfortable when he was near him made Matsukawa feel ridiculously happy.

They stood there for a few moments looking at each other until, in a wild flurry of movement, Hanamaki bounded toward Matsukawa to grab his wrist, and pulled him backward toward the bed, until he tripped on his discarded pants and fell backwards onto the mattress. Matsukawa’s laugh turned into a shout when he realized that he was also falling, pulled along by the grip Hanamaki still had on his arm. They tumbled onto the bed in a mess of lanky limbs, and Matsukawa had to make an effort to fall on his hands and knees, so that he wouldn't accidentally squish Hanamaki.

As they lay there catching their breath, Matsukawa laughed quietly at the flustered look on Hanamaki’s face.

“Careful there, we wouldn't want to have to record your cause of death as ‘killed by stray pants’ in your obituary,” Matsukawa said, slightly breathless, his eyes full of mirth.

“What a unique way to go out,” Hanamaki snarked, a grin making its way on his face as he laughed. His eyes were now sparkling and his hair was a mess from falling onto the bed. Matsukawa could feel his own heart thudding within his chest. Hanamaki had yet to release the hold he hand on Matsukawa's arms.

As they calmed down and their laughter died down, they soon realized that Matsukawa was _still on top of Hanamaki._ They fell silent as they looked at each other. Matsukawa was inspecting every inch of Hanamaki’s face, looking for any hint that he was uncomfortable. He didn't find any.

Instead what he found was a warm glow from behind Hanamaki’s eyes, which were still watching Matsukawa’s every move. The grip he had on Matsukawa’s wrists loosened slightly, and his hands moved up along his forearms, their touch trailing a warm sensation in their wake.

“Makki… Taka…"

His sentence died in his throat when Hanamaki's hands traveled further up his arms and over his shoulders, to cup behind his head, fingers tangled in his hair. Matsukawa was about to ask Hanamaki what he was doing, but he had barely opened his mouth before Hanamaki pulled his head down and their lips met.

The kiss was soft, gentle. Hanamaki's lips were warm and felt so amazing against Matsukawa's own, that he couldn't help the content sigh that bubbled up from his throat. Matsukawa felt his heart beating erratic and wild within his chest, but he worked to keep his movements slow and calm. Hanamaki may have initiated the kiss, but he was worried that a sudden movement would spook him.

Hanamaki's fingers moved through Matsukawa's hair, and their lips moved against each other slowly, languidly, like they wanted to savor this moment forever, and have it seared into their memory. Matsukawa felt his entire body warm up, like Hanamaki was pouring heat into him through the kiss. He slowly raised a hand up from supporting himself to cup at Hanamaki’s jaw, letting his fingers trail over the heated skin.

A few more moments passed before they broke apart, slowly, like they didn't want it to end, and if Matsukawa were being 100% honest, he didn't want it to end. Kissing Hanamaki, his best friend, had felt like a glimpse of heaven.

When they both opened their eyes and looked at each other, Matsukawa saw no signs of regret anywhere on Hanamaki's face. He opened his mouth and tried using his voice again.

“Takahiro…”

“You make me feel safe, Issei.”

A blush rose in Matsukawa's face, he could feel the heat spreading over his cheeks. Hanamaki let a small laugh out at his stunned face before reaching up to place a single kiss to the tip of his nose.

“Was- was that alright?”

Another smile appeared on Hanamaki's face.

“Yeah,” he said softly, “It was perfect.”

Ducking his face down to hide it in the crook of Hanamaki’s shoulder, Matsukawa let himself relax as he wrapped his arms under Hanamaki and holding him close in a tight hug.

“And you call me a giant sap,” Matsukawa mumbled against Hanamaki's shoulder.

At that, Hanamaki let out another laugh.

“Yeah well, you are taller than me so that would be a completely accurate statement.”

They lay there together for bit longer, until Hanamaki started wiggling along the bed. Sitting up, Matsukawa let him scoot along on the bed, following him as they repositioned themselves.

Matsukawa lay back down, on his back, and Hanamaki laid right on top of him, using his chest as a pillow and one arm wrapped around him. This position was more comfortable, as it didn't put strain on Matsukawa's joints.

The silence stretched on, surrounding them comfortably. With his other arm wrapped around Hanamaki, Matsukawa could feel Hanamaki's chest rise and fall with his breathing. He could feel his own eyes grow heavy, and he let them slide closed.

“Hey, Mattsun?” Hanamaki said quietly.

Matsukawa opened one eye, “Mm? Yeah?”

Hanamaki hesitated for a moment, his mouth opening and closing without any sound escaping. Matsukawa waited patiently as he struggled to pull his words together.

“I… I want you… with me. Like, I want you to… be with me. Are you okay with that? I mean- would you want that?”

Matsukawa felt like his heart had stopped in that moment, and hey, maybe it had. What Hanamaki was saying was something he had hoped for for a long time, and now that it was actually happening, he could barely believe his ears.

Before Hanamaki could interpret his silence as something anything but a yes, Matsukawa hugged him tighter, placing light kisses to the crown of his head.

“I want that. For as long as you want it, I want it too.”

A wide grin was spreading over Matsukawa's face, and he couldn't see it, but he could feel an equally wide grin spreading over Hanamaki's face.

They lay there cuddling like a pair of koalas, arms wrapped so tight around each other, that it would probably take days before they would come loose. The heaviness of sleep began to settle over them both, and they succumbed, happy and content.

**Author's Note:**

> boys no dont fall asleep before having dinner what r u doing u sappy idiots


End file.
